


Where I End You Begin

by laurel_in_oblivion



Category: Naruto, Naruto (Anime) RPF
Genre: Angst, Drinking Games, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Snow, Song Lyrics, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:09:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurel_in_oblivion/pseuds/laurel_in_oblivion
Summary: What could happen if Sasuke Uchiha looses control over his facade for a few seconds and consequently makes a decision that will not only disrupt his chosen path but that of a certain fox-boy as well? What happens when they burn down bridges they never thought they would?---------------Inspired by a couple of songs that are interwoven with this story, this is my first attempt at exploring Naruto's and Sasuke's relationship. Not completely sure where this story will go, but I'd be happy if you join us on this trip.-- you'll probably get a lot of edge, angst, character study & song recommendations --updates every 3 days or less (I hope)
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. 1. Caring is Creepy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first fic. Well, technically not, but the only thing I'ver ever uploaded was at 12 & had one chapter so I guess it doesn't really count. I've been rewatching Naruto during quarantine & fell in love with it all over again. Because the producers cowardly decided to end up with boring cis-het couples, I got pretty frustrated that all that relationship development was wasted & started reading some stories on here again. I stopped writing any kind of fiction years ago, but as I heard a certain song I just had to flash out an idea. This will mostly be a character/ relationship study inspired by some song & I'm not sure yet where exactly it will go. Definitely fluff & edge ahead.
> 
> I of course own neither Naruto nor the songs. Quotations are song lyrics.

Chapter 1: Caring is Creepy 

“Hiding the fact you're dead again  
Underneath the power lines seeking shade  
Far above our heads are the icy heights that contain all reason“

White. Pure white was the first thing he saw. Then he felt the icy coldness ride through his limbs, felt the frozen grass under him spike through his clothes. Next he felt pain, pulsating through his whole body. Everything hurt. Combining these things, he couldn't make sense of it. 'White, cold pain' he repeated in his mind over and over 'til it started to make him dizzy. What where his last memories? Sasuke. Sasuke's hand reaching out for him. Sasuke and then everything went black. 

When he woke up again, he still felt pain, actually felt it more intensely. But he felt clearer, felt more conscious of everything. The snow that covered him fell off when he sat up. Crusted blood covered what was left off the orange jacket and equally ripped black trousers. His chakra felt completely depleted, Kuruma fast asleep. The ongoing healing had probably used up his last reserves. Taking in his surroundings, he realized that he was sitting in what looked like a battleground. Trees were pushed over, some even split in half, snow fell over blood and dirt.

Pulling himself up he scanned the area for signs of others, but he seemed to be all alone. Around half a mile from him stood a mountain site. He needed to find cover, start a fire and rest since he wasn't particularly keen on freezing his ass or other body parts off. As he started walking, blood started to circulate in his numb legs again. Despite the urge to just lay back down again and succumb to the elements, he pushed himself to take step after step. He was Naruto Uzumaki after all. And some bad weather couldn't just take him out like that. If he ever went down, it was supposed to be glorious and heroic. To save Konohagakure or his friends or... It should have meaning. Maybe it should also give meaning to the life he had lead up to that point. And it certainly wasn't now. 

He had crossed about half of the distance when he decided to stop for a minute to keep himself from falling over. The mass of snow only had grown, and was now hitting his face with ice crumbs. The eerie stillness almost seemed to slowly creep up on him. No sign of any settlements, of any traces of human life. Just icy land as it had always existed, would exist long after his death. Which was potentially not that far away. 'Still no way to go out for a Hokage', he rememinded himself. Especially since he wasn't one yet. Would he ever be? He wasn't so sure of himself anymore. Didn't he always state that there was no way he could be Hokage if he didn't manage to safe at least one friend. Well despite this statement ringing true to him after all this years, was it accurate if said 'friend' was a domestic terrorist, a wanted criminal and out to kill you and everyone who got in his way? Or just because he “felt like it“? These words had been painful, painful enough at least to make the prospect of getting stabbed by Sasuke's katana almost meaningless.

He realized that he had slid down next to a tree and was just about to pick himself up again as he saw red. Tiny little drops of red, coloring the snow crimson. But they were a few meters away, so they could't be his. He went up - one hand resting against the tree - and followed the trail of what must be blood. The woods thickened and he could't see where it went. Looking back between it and the near mountain where he could seek cover, recover, he got up as quickly as he could. Of course he followed it, Sakura would have given him a blow to the chin for it, of that he remained sure. 

'What happened?' Naruto tried to picture Sakura questioning him. 'You just don't wake up in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. Use your pea-brain and think baka!' As lovely as the real witch, he smirked. But Imaginary-Sakura was right, he thought while he slowly moved forward towards the now little pools of blood. He had been on a mission with Team Kakashi, he had just mastered element control for the first time. Right, the temple, they were sent to protect the Fire Temple and were on their way home. He probably had a concussion, judging from the headache that grew the harder he tried to remember. There had been a fight, he dully remembered trying out his wind technique to counter flames. Wait, no he learned that after they got home. His memories weren't in the right order.'

The little pools of blood grew ever larger until they fused into a completely trail. Whatever was its origin, it couldn't be far. Naruto just hoped it wasn't a comrade. 'Come on idiot. What is the last thing you remember? Try again or I'll give you the rest“, Imaginary-Sakura went on again. The last thing? He searched through the mess of his memories looking for a fight in this snow landscape. 

There he was. Raven black hair with a tint of blue. A color as unreal as he ever was to him. Face distorted and angry. Eyes like black orbs - spinning, no. That was his vision in the memory. He was using his Great Fire Ball Technique in order to keep his distance from his opponent, but the flames came out smaller and smaller as his features showed a hint of desperation underneath all that anger. But he wasn't looking at him. Instead Kabuto stood there, relatively unfazed despite obvious wounds that already started to close. Within a few quick moves he was behind him, using his medical ninjutsu to perforate Sasuke's skin with his surgery needles. While the Uchiha tried to block the attack, Kabuto quickly stabbed his left arm with a chakra scalpels severing Sasuke's biceps. Unable to use his arm, the nin fell back, shielding his upper body with the remaining arm. 

'You're a waste of time Sasuke-kun. And deep down you know it. You're lucky Master Orochimaru has business to attend to. I wont't waste my time fighting you just because you freaked out about your little toy. Go kill him yourself and when you're in your right mind again, come back. You know we'll find you if you don't, because there is nowhere to go, nowhere you could take shelter, no-one willing to save you now. Remember your deal with Orochimaru-sama.' And with that he sent Sasuke flying.

'Fuck', Naruto coughed, tapping out of the memory again. Not the best scenario one could awaken to. But better than he feared. He couldn't remember anyone dying, even though both he and Sasuke were pretty much half-dead by the end. Well half is no problem when you've got the nine-tails' chakra but the Uchiha, despite his great powers, didn't have that. Kabuto would't try to leave Sasuke off to die, he was supposed to be Orochimaru's vessel after all. Had he miscalculated the situation? Well he was going to find out either way. With this he sped up his pace, despite his aching body telling him not to. 

There he laid. Snow white, crimson red, raven hair. Deadly, beautiful and tragic. As he had always been. His friend, his rival, his enemy. Naruto shock the thought out of his head. And approached the ninja. He was laying there on his side, an almost peaceful expression on his lips. 'Please don't Sasuke. Please don't let everything I did to save you be in vain. Please don't leave me', he mumbled. 

Despite the physical and emotional wounds Sasuke had left him with again and again, Naruto had never given up that last piece of glowing, putrescent hope that had kept him and his sanity in check over the last three years. He wasn't ready to let go of it, to let go of the first real friend he had made. Not with so many words still unsaid, so many roads to travel on, so many things to learn. 

Putting his hand on his throat, he pushed back snow and hair with clots of dried blood sticking to it to feel his pulse. He stopped breathing for a second until - 

“On rocks I dreamt of where we'd stepped  
And of the whole mess of roads we're now on  
I got so old just wondering how  
Never got cold wearing nothing in the snow“


	2. 2. Freak Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Sasuke's inner monologues. He chuckles once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's inspired by Freak Scene by Dinosaur. Jr.

Chapter 3: Freak Scene

It's so fucked I can't believe it  
If there's a way I wish we'd see it  
How it could work, just can't conceive it  
Oh what a mess it's just to leave it

There it was - too slow, and unsteady but nevertheless a pulse. Naruto felt something warm slip down his cheeks and watched it fall in Sasuke's eyelid. It fluttered, then opened to reveal a dazed eye trying to focus. When it did, chapped lips curled up into a weak smile. He coughed, trying to let words escape his mouth. 'Well usuratonkachi, guess you lasted a bit longer. Just please don't tell anyone I died saving your ass. It's embarrassing enough to die in front of such a crybaby already.' With that he closed his eyes, leaving a crying Naruto on his own. 

'Teme....Screw you' he spat, picking the boy's limb body up. 'I won't let your sorry ass die for me'. He dragged himself forwards, aiming for the mountain site again, leaving the snow to cover Sasuke's blood. 

\--------------

He could finally see it right in front of him: a small cave on the foot of the mountain. Enough to escape the ravaging snow. Enough to catch breath. He carefully laid down Sasuke, ripped apart his t-shirt and started to attend to the most obvious wounds. He was by far no mednin, but Sakura had showed him in-between missions how to stop bleeding and help speed up the healing process. He had kept it a secret, because he feared that due to the shortage of medics Tsunade would take this as reason enough to separate their team, as it had technically two nins who knew anything about medical ninjutsu. And he really did suck at it compared to Sakura. But hopefully it would be enough to save Sasuke. It obviously didn't help that his chakra hadn't anywhere near restored. But he had successfully stopped it from healing his own wounds so that a small amount was stored.

He pushed back the remains of Sasuke's shirt and looked at the sight of his pale chest. He was thin, yet muscular and Naruto had always admired him for his looks. It had probably been jealousy. He stopped himself from further marveling at his friend and instead gently pushed his hands on the first wound: a blast that looked like it might stem from Naruto's Rasengan. He gulped, guilt shooting through his thought. 'There's no use in crying about it now' he told himself, letting his chakra flow further. The bleeding had stopped before, but, as he desperately pushed all his strength towards the pieces of skin, they grew and closed the lurking gaps. Naruto let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He did the same with two more until he felt exhaustion take over. 'If I don't stop now, I'll fall unconscious'. Thus, he got up and checked Sasuke's pulse one more time. It was more stronger and steadier than before. Relieved, he smiled as he went up to step into the snow in order to gather some fire wood. 

As he gathered some twigs and branches, he tried to collect the missing pieces of information as well. Sasuke had said that he saved Naruto, but how did that happen? And why? The last time the two had meet, Orochimaru had hindered Sasuke from straight out killing Naruto. Not that he didn't have the chance to try it before. If Sai hadn't reacted so quickly, Naruto would have been torn in half by Sasuke's katana. 

But there was little use in channeling his feelings over this now. What mattered was that Sasuke was alive and that he had somehow turned against Orochimaro, even if he couldn't take this as his final decision yet. But for the first time in years he might have a chance at actually getting through to Sasuke, of talking some sense into him. And if that didn't work, then this was his chance in overpowering his rival and dragging his stupid ass back to Konoha. But that wouldn't be a pleasant experience for either of them. Sasuke wasn't a child anymore, he was a missing-nin, just like their first opponent Zabuza had been. A lifetime seemed to lie between their younger selves in Team 7 and now. But he was determined to connect them again. Connect Sasuke and him again. And because he didn't want to have Sasuke home but in chains, he would try to keep this his last resort.

When he got back, the raven haired boy - or man, he wasn't so sure anymore - was still unconscious. Naruto dropped the fire wood and cinder, quickly shifting it up til it remotely resembled a fire and kneeled next to him. He didn't need to feel his pulse, he saw his chest moving slightly up and down. Naruto - despite still freezing - took of his orange jacket and carefully lifted Sasuke's head to push it under him. Considering what to do next, he mentally laid down his options before Sakura. 

'You're chakra is still miserably low, so don't even think about doing anything crazy. You'll do nobody a favor if you screw yourself over. Basic's first: You'll need water, make fire, heal Sasuke and also let yourself heal. Food perhaps as well.' True, he thought, but already saw the first problem arise. Fire. He didn't have fire element control and neither did he ever start one himself. There had always been a team member or comrade for him to to it. Besides, starting a fire in Konoha was seldom a necessity. So he tried channeling his inner Iruka, remembering a certain lecture back at the academy. Sasuke had naturally excelled, without waving a finger. No problem for an Uchiha, he had mastered his flame technique before being enrolled in the academy. Naruto cursed himself for not listening better. He would ask Iruka when he got back. Maybe treat him to some Ramen.

But this helped him to a plan B. He might be unable to start a fire himself, but a certain wunderkind lay there right besides him. 'I'll notice if I get too weak'. 'Oh sure you will', answered Sakura in a corner of his mind. So he focused on Sasuke's remaining wounds, as well as possible internal bleedings. His deathly pale skin seemed to jump a few steps up the color ladder and his breathing got louder, just as Naruto felt his vision getting blurry once again. He fell soft, with his chin forwards. Luckily he had healed most of his cushion before he crashed onto 'it'.

He awoke to soft flames caressing the cave's walls. Expecting cold stones underneath him he started moving his limbs. Instead, he found warm skin und fabric betted under his head. He was laying against Sasuke whose eyes watched him carefully. His body screamed 'Alert, on edge' but his expression gave away a hint of relaxation mixed with uncertainty. Neither of them spoke for a while. Since he couldn't think of a safe way to start an earnest conversation, one that wouldn't push Sasuke immediately away again, he just rested his head in Sasuke's lap again and mumbled: “If you're gone when I wake up, I'm gonna tell everyone that you tried to push me into your lap“. And with that he nuzzled himself back into sleep again. 

\-----

Sasuke's POV 

He looked at the boy's head, resting indeed in his lap. Had he actually threatened him to 'expose' him as a pervert? Indeed. Sasuke chuckled. He hadn't expected to wake up again after he lost conciousness in Naruto's arms. But this was the Leaf's Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja after all. It shouldn't surprise him. Neither should it surprise him that half of his wounds were already healed. The fresh skin still itched whenever he moved, but he wasn't bleeding to death anymore and neither in great pain. 

He couldn't believe himself to be in this situation. Did his brain stop working? Was he a fucking idiot? Did he entertain a death wish? He wasn't entirely sure about any of these questions. 

He had made a mistake, had acted purely out of instinct just for a split second. And that was enough for a certain part of his mind to take over and push himself into an entire different struggle. He had so carefully controlled his emotions. He had suppressed them through diligently repeating a mantra to himself whenever he was in doubt about his choices. 

'You're weak, you have to get stronger. If you don't kill Itachi, he's going to kill you and everything you ever held dear. You have to kill him for everything you once held dear. But in order to get stronger you have to leave everything behind, only reach out for power.' 

He had developed elaborate narratives about himself and the ones once closest to him. Or rather the one. He painted them as weak, brittle things, admiring him pathetically, forever holding him back. Himself, on the other hand, he imagined as a fallen antihero, corrupt with power but still painfully admirable. Or sometimes just rotten from within, corroded, infected with the pest that had sprung from Itachi onto him in that fateful night. He told himself that there was no cure for him. Never could be. Killing Itachi would be an anesthetic, nothing more. He needed to do it or else there was nothing left to do but scream for the universe's mercy. 

Hell he even tried suppressing these emotions chemically, with whatever he could secretly gather out of Kabuto's lab. He hadn't been sure if the mednin noticed, but if he did, he apparently approved of Sasuke's attempts. Nights spend on the bathroom floor that kept spinning and spinning. Mornings awake, dripping with sweat clutching at his bed frame, naked fear running through his veins. Beause he couldn't get them out. Itachi on one side - mocking his weakness. He would never manage to get his revenge. And if he didn't manage to rid himself of his soft spots, then maybe his brother would have the courtesy to do it for him. On the other side stood Naruto, condemning him for the thing he managed to do: leave him. He neither managed to go all the way nor did he do the 'right' thing. A failure through and through. 'Cause all had been in vain. Even though he managed to act like it, he couldn't rid himself of his emotions. Well at least not all of them. The pain remained. And that stupid lingering hope. Hope of returning one day. Hoping for things to return to the state they were in before he left. Hope for Naruto to forgive him. For Team 7 to accept him back in.

But Team 7 had replaced him with another raven haired boy. And Naruto would forget him eventually. Maybe he would get together with Sakura, after the kunoichi had lost her focus on Sasuke. Maybe he would find a new friend and rival in Sai. Maybe. And he better did. After all, dreaming was dangerous.

He was thrown out of the ever-growing tsunami of his thoughts when the blonde moved a bit and let out a quiet grown. Was he already waking up? Shit. He hadn't planned a single thing. Instead his mind had went off on an anxiety cruise all over the vast ocean he called his suppressed fears. 

'Three steps - quick.' He mentally shouted at himself but it was too late. Two blue eyes shot through his like lightening. 'Hey idiot. Stop staring into the cave wall, it's not gonna eat you. Are you alright?'

Sometimes I don't thrill you  
Sometimes I think I'll kill you  
Just don't let me fuck up, will you?  
'Cos when I need a friend it's still you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Kudos and comments especially. Was this too much inner back & forth? Not enough dialoge? Too much angst or weird grammar? Tell me :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! English isn't my mother tongue, so apologies for any mistakes, my writing will hopefully improve over the chapters. Kudos and comments will be very much appreciated :)


End file.
